The title says it all. I love you Chelsea. You’re the first person I think about every morning, and the last I think about before going to sleep. You’re the easiest and most welcome hello and the hardest goodbye. I love you.

Legitimately, I have never had as much fun with anyone as I have with you.

I straight up did not know how it felt to actually connect with a person on the level I feel connected to you. Sometimes it feels like you live in my brain and say the things I’m going to say before I say them.

Our silences and quiet moments are never uncomfortable for me. I don’t always have things to say, and its so nice to just sit or exist with you. I don’t need you to be saying interesting or important things all the time. I love simply being with you, talking or not talking. moving or not moving. Just being with you in the simplest sense of the word gives me so much joy.

I think you’ve noticed this by now. I genuinely always want to hear about how you feel, or how I’ve made you feel. Especially when it’s negative, because those moments are the times when I get to improve the partner I am to you.

It’s so hard to not be around you. It’s even harder to leave your company. I know you have responsibilities and that I’m a distraction for you so I try to give you space but I have to fight the urge to glom onto your side like a barnacle and just live your life stuck to your side each and every day. It’s all I want to do. I count the seconds during the days we have plans to see each other.

This is a little redundant but yeah, I always have fun. Even the moments you think aren’t fun. There are moments I specifically say ‘this isn’t fun’ but those are almost always followd by moments that are fun. Because i’m with you.

I do. I’m stunned every time I see you. I’m always surprised by how good you look. Your smile lights up every corner and crevasse of my brain like a neutron star exploding with the power of ten billion and one suns.

I’m aaaaaalways so blown away by your ability to put together your fits. I firmly believe you could cut holes in a burlap sack and find some way to make it inimitably fashionable.

The sex we have is incredible. I want that to be firmly lodged in your brain. BUT It’s not the reason I value you. I value you because of how I feel when I’m with you, or talking to you, or playing with you, or sitting in silence with you, or cooking for you, or painting with you, or reading to you. I value you far beyond any physicality we share together. You make me so happy just by being yourself.

I literally always want you to be close to me. Remember the barnacle thing from #6? Yeah that. That all the way. I am a floating, disembodied dust mote and all I want to do is drift onto your eyeball and live in your head as one of your eye floaters, seeing how you see things and hearing you talk and laugh all day every day.

In all seriousness, the things you make blow me the fuck away in a really real way. The clown makeup, the keena portrait on the denim jacket, the mural, your paintings, all of it. I revel in your talent and skill and want you to paint every square inch of the places I spend the most time.

I do. No cap. I think you get me better than most.

You often talk about how gross you feel, look etc… which is valid and of course I don’t want to try to talk you out of a way you feel but I want you to know that I think you actually literally genuinely have never ever in ever had anything gross about you ever. Like even when you ‘feel gross’ you’re still glowing and shining and I want to ball myself up like a small hypoallergenic cat and curl up on your belly and purr until your bones rumble but in a good way.

I really am. I love the way you move through life. The positive traits I see in you are traits I’m trying to embody as well. I’m inspired by your resolve to do shit and see them through. Like paint your entire room. Like buy the heaviest most anti-portable dresser and transport it across a city just because you love it. Like work hard on a curriculum you didn’t design or connect with. I’m so inspired by you.

This is sort of in the same vein as 15 but a little more specific.

I feel more creative when I’m around you. Just the clown photo project alone was such an indicator for me that you trigger my creativity in a real way and that translates to me being inspired to make things. I love your ideas and they way you think about things, and I also love the way you look at & appreciate what I make. I made this all for you. I want to really write that thing with you. I want to make all the things with you.

For me, being ‘mistreated’ is far deeper than the disagreements we’ve had. In my head that word more aligns with callousness with my feelings in an intentional way. I have never felt that from you.

When I talk with you in general or when I’m bringing up things that are tough to talk about I know and trust that you will receive and hear the things I say.

Singing or talking, the sound of your voice makes me happy. Listening to you absentmindedly singing a sing that’s stuck in your head, or the way your voice sounds when we’re softly talking late at night are my favorite things to listen to. Your voice has an innate musicality to it that tickles my brain gently and sparks the release of my happy chemicals.

I really really really love you for you. I’ll always love you for you. You being you is why I love you. Yes, I think you’re unspeakably gorgeous (Ref #8) but I also think you’re an unspeakably special human inside and out. There’s not a single moment wherein I feel that my life would be better without you.

I don’t want to freak you out here. I’m not saying I’m counting on us being together romantically until we’re old and gray. But regardless of the shape of our relationship I’d like to at least know you until I’m old. I’d like to know you forever. And Ideally we’ll be romantically connected the whole time.
I love you